Getting it right will win you business, but get it wrong and you can kiss that deal goodbye! What am I going on about? simple really, body language. This follows on from my previous post, and shows you all the positive and negative indicators that will show you where you need to improve, before you go into that 'big meeting'. Positive body language is all about how you make other feel. The most 'attractive' people in a room know how to make everyone else feel attractive and interesting, but the converse is unfortunately also true! Body language centres around clusters of gestures and expressions. These patterns of movement can be most revealing and show our true inner feelings. Test yourself - imagine the most recent meeting and see whether you are more positive or negative when it comes to other people.
Here are the positive body language movements that say "I like you" - it will also tell you if they're interested in you as well.
- Direct eye contact (no staring)
- Warm, open smile (teeth revealed)
- Nodding
- Head tilted
- Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing)
- Fully facing others
- Leaning forward
- Upright but relaxed posture
- Firm handshake
- Double hand clasp handshake
- Feet firmly planted
- Chin up
- Sitting forward
- Eyebrow flash upon greeting
- Touching another's arm or shoulder
- Winking (used with discretion)
- Tightened abdomen, sticking out chest
- Mirroring another's gestures and body stance
- "Accidently" brushing another's hand
- Scanning the face with eyes (don't go below chin)
- Preening behavior: straightening tie, fixing hair, adjusting skirt, wetting lips
- Blocking behavior (to keep others away from the two of you)
- Pupils dilated (hard to detect, but usually a sign of attraction)
Here are the negative body movements - you must avoid these if you want people to respond more psoitively towards you:
- Eye contact not met
- Tight or no smile
- Down and away glances
- Not fully facing, at an angle
- Leaning away
- Hunched shoulders
- Too-stiff posture
- Weak handshake
- Chin into chest
- Arms crossed
- Legs crossed
- Body sagging
- Legs outstretched while seated
- Absentminded gazes
- Dropped gazes
- Staring
- Scanning body below neck
- Fidgeting
- Standing too still
- Exclusive gestures (closed and away from your body)
- Self-touching
So how many did you score then? I bet there were more negatives there than you first thought!!
